Maybe that nickname is is alright after all...

All my students have been calling this boy "monkey" for the last two years. Recently he has grown to like and accept this nickname because today he exclaimed to me "Teacher, I am the Banana Prince!!! oooh oooh awww awww!!!"

My father is a pilot

Today we started Chapter 7 "My father is a pilot" today. I asked the kids what they wanted to be when they grow up. One kid who is moderately good at English said he wanted to be a soccer player. Later in the day, when he was goofing off and hindering the ability of other students to learn (like always) I walked up to him and looked him in the eye. "Do you want to play for Manchester United"? I asked him. "Yes teacher" he responded. "If you are going to go to England, you will need to speak English." Then there was one of those magic looks in his eyes and on his face, you know the ones where you can tell the little dust covered gears in his head are turning and processing. He was an angel for the rest of the class. Let's see if it continues to work.

When I asked another kids what he wanted to be when he grows up he said "A father!!!" How cute.

Robin Egg Candy Virgins

Last Wednesday was just one of those days when the kids are super-hyper for some reason. I don't know if it was the phase of the moon, the earth relation to its other cosmic neighbors or what. I did not care, all I knew was I was having a really hard time asking my first class to not talk. It was exhausting and I had a headache. So, against my better judgment I told them if they were good the team that won the game could have a piece of candy next week.

Uggggghhhh! Did I really just do that? I am usually against candy (or anything physical) as a reward. I try not to go for extrinsic motivation and instead go for the deeper, more meaningful Intrinsic  motivation (i.e I want to learn English not for candy or a prize but because I want to learn it). Still, I had a head ache and was loosing my sanity so I promised them candy. "At least I wont have this problem with the other classes" I thought.

HA! how could I be so naive? Once word got around from that class that I promised them candy it was a de facto promise to all classes that if they were quiet and their group won the class game that they too would get a sugary reward. Oh well, it was not so bad. At least I'd have my sanity.

Id been thinking and looking for cheap candy for the rest of the week with no good prospects. Because I am a cheapskate, I wanted quantity with out the price tag that comes with a large amount of candy. I found it at COSTCO. I bought a 42 oz bag of Whoppers "Robin Eggs" candy left over from Easter and newly discounted to 3,500 Won (about $3). Perfect I thought!

When it came time to give them out the student were perplexed. Some thought I was gum. Many asked "its candy?" not knowing what to do with the oddly colored cavity causers. Only one kid in 5 classes knew what it was. Pretty shocking. They turned out to be a big hit and that makes me happy.

As I walked around the class checking the students work I noticed one of my students, one of the more brilliant ones was just sitting there bored, sketching in his notebook. It did not matter the class was less than half over, his notebook was completely finished for the day; the national curriculum is far below his English level. A thick, dark apathetic cloud hung around his head like a Russian Ushanka hat.
"Hello, how are you" I said, hoping to engage him.
"Oh teacher do you like winter?" the student asked. "No, I like summer" I replied haphazardly. 
"Oh wow! why?" perked up as he realized we were having an actual English conversation. "I don't like snow and I like summer vacation"
"oh really?" he said with a glint of curiousness in his eyes.
"Yes"
"Where will you go?" the student asked, genuinely interested as his cloud of apatheticness started to dissolve.
"Egypt"
His mind was blown. He sat up in his seat. The cloud was gone.
"Really?"
"Yes"
Amazed he was able to mutter out "I will come with?"
With a smile and a grin I answered "No you wont, it will be my honeymoon."
"Honeymoon?" he said confused. Then the "light bulb" went off and he realized what I just said.
"Oh-my-god!-Do-you-have-a-baby?!?!-That-is-unbeleviable?-That-is-SO-fantastic!-What-is-its-name?-Is-it-a-boy-or-girl?" he bellowed out in one long, excited, hyphenated sentence with out hardly taking a single breath.
"I don't have a baby." I said
"Oh" he said as all the excitement seemed to fall flat and his cloud spontaneously reformed itself and he went back to sketching in his notebook.
Eh. Guess you can't win all the time

Today I kept telling a student to pay attention because he would be talking to the boy behind him. I told him 4 or 5 times. Eventually I had enough, "turn around" I barked at him. The student sat straight up, then jumped to his feat and spun around as though he was doing the hokey pokey. After he sat down he looked at me and said "teacher why?" as the whole class, including myself erupted into uncontrollable laughter.

Disturbing Child

I think one of my children may grow up to be a serial murderer as he displays some messed up behaviors. Let me explain, last year I had a bit of problem with him as he seemed to always be angry. He would grab girls hair and pull it, grab girls by the face and jab them in the eye, stab them with his pencil/pen or really anything he can; basically if it causes pain I am sure he has done it to a girl at some point. A student tried to intervene one time and the good Samaritan got his full wrath. I had to break up that fight. Anyways when he would act out I would separate him from the class and put him in the back and made him stand there with his hands on his head. His eyes would be wide and his grin, so diabolical you would think you were watching Lucifer himself grin. Basically, he really did not care if he was in trouble. I watched him very closely after the first few times he acted out and one time as he was about to punch a girl in the face I caught his hand and took him to the back of the room. Not sure if it was that I stopped him from hitting the girl or what but he was ANGRY. He was screaming and swearing in Korean and I dragged him kicking to the back of the room for time out. He screamed so I made him face the wall which he proceeded to punch as hard as he could. Eventually my co-teacher took him away, to the principals office i assume. I asked my co-teacher what his deal was and she told me his mother cheated on his dad and ran away to the Philippines with her lover and did not even divorce my students dad. She just left. I guess this has him with some pent up aggression toward girls and women.

Fast forward to this year and he seems to be not as angry but the behavior problems persist. His physical displays of violence are not as common but there are new and sinister behaviors I am witnessing. A few days ago the children were asked to bring in photos of their family or of their favorite celebrities. The activity was to make paper dolls so they can role play with them and use vocabulary about family relationships. For example "Hello, I am ____________. I am the Father." Any ways the disturbing child brings in a photo of Kim Yu-Na, (the figure skater who won the gold medal at the 2010 winter Olympics in Vancouver) and shows me. Every one at his table is excited because really EVERY ONE in Korea LOVES Kim Yu-Na. Remember when Michael Phelps won the Gold medal in Beijing? Remember how everyone in America thought he was like the best person on the face of the planet (for a month)? Well its been a year and people still think that of Kim Yu-Na. Anyways, I come back to check on disturbing child and he glued the picture of Kim Yu-Na on a piece of paper sans the top of her head. He then drew her brain and blood dripping down her face. Normally Id just think this was typical 4rd grader boys-will-be-boys shenanigans except he cut holes where her breasts should be and made them all bloody also.
"ew" I said and showed disapproval with my facial expression. "This is not good". The boy went from smiling to worry "No, no teacher". He pointed to where the breasts used to be and said "End cut, good". I told my (new) co-teacher (who has no idea of his past history) and thought it was totally"normal".
Now today, in case you are not convinced he is disturbed some kids came up to me as I was walking to the bank to pay bills and they told me "cat die" and pointed toward the street. I continue down that way and the boy is standing over a dead cat and tearing it open with a sharp stick. Yeah..... needless to say I am kind of scared of him. I hope he does not stab me with a pencil or something.

March 30th 2011

I have been having a hard time with my new contract. My new co-teachers have poor English ability so it is hard for me to communicate with them. I decided I am just going to have to review the rules each day until the kids can repeat them verbatim. I have been doing it for about a week and so far it has been working great. Maybe I will make it after all.

Some funny stories from today:

A student asked me"Oh teacher!!!! Do you like Pokemon?" "Yes?" I replied. "What is this Pokemons name in English" He asks as he holds up Pokemon shaped eraser. I take a closer look and have no idea. "Come on" I say as I sit down at my computer, "Let's find out". It ended up being one I had never heard of: "Munchlax". Turns out it is a baby Snorelax... Weird I had no idea. Also I told him I would trade Pokemon with him. Amusing.

A student violated class rule #6: "no Justin Beiber" when she put a picture of him on the board. So I ran screaming from the back of the room to the front, grabbed the picture off the board and ate it. Yum. Ok, So I did not eat it, only put it in my mouth and chewed on it a bit. My class laughed hysterically and it got their attention which seemed to be fixed on me (magically?) for the whole class, I should eat more Justin Beiber more often.

also a kid fell asleep 2nd period and every one thought I was going to wake him up mean but I just placed my hand on his shoulder and woke him up nice. I don't know why he is falling asleep, he could have issues at home but I told him "No Startcraft or Maple Story after 10pm."

that was my day. The end.